Having “The Talk” With Mom and Dad

By Guest blogger: Michael Daniels

It’s funny how life has a way of going full circle.  When I was a child, mom and dad sat me down for a talk about “the birds and the bees.” Fortunately, my parents and I survived that experience relatively unscathed.  Fast forward 30 years.  I’m in my 40s while mom and dad are in their 70s.  It was time for another “talk.” This one would be as awkward as when I was young.  However, this would likewise be a critical conversation – “Mom and dad, how do you manage your personal finances and what should I (your son) know about them?”

At first, my parents were a bit hesitant to openly respond to my questions.  They know that financial services have been my profession for over a decade and that I have these conversations with clients all the time.  However, they were uncomfortable sharing this very personal information, which is completely understandable as I am their son, not their attorney or financial advisor. Rather than push them to disclose sensitive information, I educated them as to why it was important to share.  After a brief, yet focused, conversation, I left them with important reasons to consider sharing their personal finances with me, their adult son. These include:

• If something happened to one or both of you, how would I know what accounts you have or where your important documents are stored?  How would I “pick up the pieces” and manage your affairs?

• Are you prepared to cover retirement and potential long-term care expenses?  If not, what is “Plan B”?

• How would you like your house, your property, and your possessions to be distributed someday?

I wish that I could share that immediately following “the talk” my parents provided me with all of the information I would need to handle their affairs. On the bright side, it did begin a series of necessary conversations.  Eventually, my parents not only got their estate plan documents executed, they also explained to me how their finances are set-up and where important documents (wills, powers of attorney, statements, etc.) are located.

To all the parents and adult children out there that are avoiding “the talk” because it may be uncomfortable, I urge you to consider making an attempt sooner rather than later.  Dealing with the fallout from not knowing critical information about household finances is much more difficult to handle.

————————————————————————————————-

About Michael:

Michael is Senior Financial Advisor at Financial Focus Group. He is responsible for helping clients make strategic decisions in the areas of risk management, wealth management, tax strategies and estate planning strategies. Office Phone: 201-626-6688 * Email: mdaniels@ffgus.com

Michael Daniels is a Registered Representative and Investment Advisor Representative of Securian Financial Services. Securities and Investment Advisory services offered through Securian Financial Services Inc. member FINRA/SIPC. Financial Focus Group is independently owned and operated. 95 Christopher Columbus Drive Floor 12A Jersey City, NJ 07302 TN:3564400/DOFU:5/2021

Financial Professionals do not provide specific tax/legal advice and this information should not be considered as such.  You should always consult your tax/legal advisor regarding your own specific tax/legal situation.

The Importance of "Mind Sports” Like Chess

By Guest Blogger: Evan Rabin

During the COVID-19 pandemic, thousands of seniors around the world have been and remain isolated. For over a year, they have been unable to socialize with family and friends. While progress has been made ( I have personally received my second vaccine), most people I speak with do not anticipate the world returning to “normal” any time soon.  

Mentally challenging games, such as chess, can help older adults, or anyone for that matter, manage the stressors that the pandemic has thrust upon us. There are virtual platforms for learning and playing chess with real live people which allows for safe socialization. 

In addition to relieving stress and providing for social engagement, there are studies that show that “cognitively stimulating activities,” such as chess, which require a lot of brain power, can help improve a person’s memory and slow the progression of Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias. See https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6617066/  

About Evan:

Evan Rabin, a National Chess Master himself, is the founder and CEO of Premier Chess. If you would like to learn more about the social and health-related benefits of chess please contact Evan at Evan@PremierChess.com. Premier Chess (https://premierchess.com/) offers online and in-person individual lessons and group classes. Premier Chess partners with companies and non-profit organizations to help realize Evan’s dream that anybody who wants to play chess anywhere in the world should be able to do so.

Care Managers and the Importance of Objectivity

by Lisa Bayer, J.D., CCM

Heidi and I founded LMR Elder Care, LLC with the mission that “care management” would remain our core focus. For more than 15 years we have held true to that mission. 

Every new client of LMR Elder Care receives a disclaimer when they onboard with us. This disclaimer is as much for our clients’ protection as it is for ours. We want our clients to know that, with the help of their families, friends and trusted advisors, we will hold their hands and guide them to make informed elder care plans and decisions. But we also want our clients to know that we will always strive toward “the best interest of the client” and that we will not substitute our judgment for that of our clients or of their authorized agents. We believe in a collaborative approach to elder care and we encourage our clients to lean on all of their trusted professional and paraprofessional advisors.

One core pillar of our business is that we do not accept referral fees. That means that when we include an organization or service in our directory or recommend a provider to a client, it is because we believe that provider will provide a necessary service.  At the heart of what we do is protecting our clients. While we do our best to promote long-term care planning and healthy aging, the reality is that most clients hire us when there is already an actual (or near) crisis. It is important to us that families are not taken advantage of when they are at their most vulnerable. 

The elder care space has evolved a lot over the last 15 years since we started our practice. In this regard some home health care agencies have started offering fee-for service private pay care management services. In this instance, a client is paying the agency for care management and the client is also paying for home health care. This arrangement creates the potential of a “dual relationship” for the care manager as he or she is duty bound to the client and to the employer who is both providing the services and who is paying the care manager’s salary. With a dual relationship the boundaries are blurred and objectivity can become diluted.

Dual relationships can also rise to a true conflict of interest between the care manager and his or her clients. For example, consider a company that provides both fee-for-service private pay care management AND home health care services.  Would the geriatric care manager even be allowed by his/her employer to recommend a more appropriate agency or caregiver? What happens if the home health aide is not performing his or her job adequately or the client simply does not like the caregiver? Simply put, without the checks and balances of independent providers comes the potential for exploitation and abuse. We have seen and heard everything over the years; home health aides offering sexual favors for extra cash, dementia clients abandoned overnight when they were supposed to be under watch, and theft of family valuables. Unfortunately, anything can happen at any time, but the opportunity to correct and protect is diminished when “Peter is Paul” and “Paul is Peter”.

When working with older adults and persons living with disabling conditions, it is important to  insist on transparency, ask necessary questions, and perform reasonable due diligence on all service providers. At LMR Elder Care our number one priority is what is in the best interest of our clients. We advocate for you and only for you.